July 27, 2025

I hold a high amount of respect for my readers. It is not easy to hear stories of another’s life and regard their experiences as your own. Or, in any case, regard their experiences as potential situations which you can too encounter. But, there is another reason I hold high regard for my readers, and that would be confidence.

What is Confidence?

This mystic of a 19 year old defines confidence as the following: the awareness of energetic alignment between your actions, your thoughts, and your words. Confidence. It is something that many are instilled with when they do something they love. It is blind, yet powerful. In it’s indifference, we somehow achieve our goals faster, with more success, unlocking more doors of growth and endless potential.

Though in recent times, it feels like confidence is spited against. Why might that be? To steal popular words from musician, actor, and fellow mystic, Demi Lovato, “what’s wrong with being confident?”

This writer hopes to address this question through its inverse (as I usually do!). If we are to ask what’s wrong with being confident, we must first question what’s right in being insecure?

A rigid definition for something so… ambiguous?

To expand upon this question, we look at insecurity amongst society, family connections, and on an individual basis. Insecure is defined as the misalignment between your actions, your thoughts, and your words. Though, it is not necessarily nor purely monetary, physical, or mental. Insecurity manifests itself not in total silence, but rather, chaos. Furthermore, the word “right” does not necessarily equate to the word “just” in this writing, but rather the opposite of wrong. The correct assessment of insecurity which is opposite of the incorrect assessment of confidence. I hope these definitions are clear, as they shape this writing in ways profound.

Society and Insecurity

You, I, and everyone we know make up what is gloriously referred to as society. Perhaps more mystical than my own writing, society, a shapeless hound continues to impose silent expectations and undisclosed rules on how to win. “Win what?” you ask smartly. Why, win at the game of life!

Society has deemed life a game, and so it has become one. I must expand on my words before they are misconstrued by this same shapeless hound that condemns us to our insecurities. Society has deemed the possibility of wining, loosing, or remaining stagnant the only possibilities available for us in life. But, dear readers, it seems to me that we forget what this mystical embodiment we call society is composed of. Us! You, me, your family and mine.

We are not subjected to society–we are society. And so now, how is it that we condemn ourselves to these insecurities? How can we be the ones putting ourselves in the game that is life? Is there such a thing as self-inflicted trauma? If so, how?

This mystic of a 19 year old does not have all the answers, nor do I claim to. Perhaps I have more questions than anyone else is to be aware of. But I digress. If we are society and the makers of this game, then (only in relation to society) what could possibly be right in being insecure? There are many potential answers. Control, greed, leverage, money?

This writer does not think the answer is something as evil as we make it out to be. I think the answer is something which we all must partially take responsibility for. Our egos. Why, they are so loud at times! I admit that many times I’ve been selfish, in ways childish and in ways that some might deem cruel. Wait. Re-read that. Did you see what I just did? “In ways that some might,” I tell you. My writing instinctively guarded something. To lessen the blow against what? My actions? My selfishness? Why, my ego! It is present all throughout my writing, I tell you. Have you noticed it?

My ego is just as loud as any other part of me. Though it is so deeply ingrained in my subconscious and perhaps your own that we do not acknowledge it anymore. It is there to protect us, yes. But in actually, our ego, when abused, becomes what keeps us stagnant. This entity of security can very quickly, effortlessly, and effectively become what cements us in who we are without chance for change. For better or for worse.

Society, Insecurity, and Ego

But what does this silent and subconscious entity have to do with insecurity? I now tell you. In a society where are we connected so intimately, consistently, and globally. We are digesting the thoughts and actions of others as our own without realizing it. Where our money goes, where old clothes go, how others may think, regard, or be affected from our words. This writer is fond of questions, but these ones specifically seem to reveal something we are not totally conscious of.

We internalize the objects we wear, own, use, or encounter as our own. In doing this, our ego becomes attached. So, what does this silent entity we all carry do to protect itself when what it’s attached itself to is no longer attached to us? I tell you simply–it cannot. It cannot protect itself on it’s own, and so we loose bits and pieces of ourselves. Of our ego.

To overcompensate and make up for it, thoughts and actions of other people whom we interact with (or in many cases, look up to) become our ego. Can you imagine that? In a technical and intrinsic way, we steal ego from others. Their thoughts and habits become ours. Their lives, we live vicariously through. Our ego that is disrupted and fragmented tries to mesh itself into parts of other people to feel full again. I hope you now understand my words as they are, carefully chosen whilst articulated honestly. Our, we, and us. Society continues this virus of insecurity because we cannot seem to recognize that we–I and you–are the problem.

Take a moment to digest these words first. Let your ego accept them. For better or for worse.

And so now, how is it we lessen the burden caused by the virus of insecurity? we–I and you–must detach. Smartly, of course, but also individually.

To attempt to radically save our society as a whole requires the sacrifice of a single, secure and whole being to be decimated with no chance to find itself again. Unless you plan for that being to be you, start smaller.

I now revisit the question of concern: what is right in being insecure? I shall tell you now. Our ego can be comforted by other lost, misaligned, and fragmented egos. A warmth of quantity to make up for the loss in quality. I ask you readers to ask yourselves a question: is the comfort I experience tearing my ego apart or reunifying it? What is to be said about my ego that is reunified?

Family and Insecurity

What about on a familial level? I tell you, the answer becomes more heartbreaking as this writing continues. But, I am okay with that. Heart breaking to me is not what it might mean to you, but that definition is one I cannot disclose as of right now. I, as a writer, woman, and mystic confess to having multiple pieces. A soul and a body, a heart and a brain, logic and a spirit, a light and a dark. One day I will share this in writing with you for the value it will have. But that day is not today. Let us return to the topic at hand.

The “right” of insecurities amongst family.

It is a more intimate warmth that our fragmented ego’s gains in this dynamic. So, of course, this warmth is mirrored by a cold sacrifice (as we have learned through the Tale of Adam and Eve). We are gifted and held to the sacrifice of unconditional love. At first, it was only a contract which parent must give to child (and some may argue child to parent). But this contract has been voided far too many times in our society! Parents, in any case, are the first people to hurt their child! The love of a child to parent faces the pressures of power dynamic if they are financially tied, physically reliant, or, in any case, emotionally suspended to the parent. So, what happens now? What of our ego if we prioritize unconditional love, blind support, and infinite forgiveness?

I tell you, so please listen clear. Ego will be ripped to shreds if this should continue without question.

The right (correct assessment!) of insecurities amongst family equates to the loss of your individual identity. Your ego becomes tied to those who you were born from or besides. For better or for worse.

This writer doesn’t dare suggest it is bad or good, despite the connotation of my words. I simply hope to relay the voice of a writer, woman, and mystic. This is the price of unconditional love. You must be aware of it, by any means.

Individuals, Insecurity, and Ego

If society leaves you with a fragmented ego, and your family will tear this ego to shreds, then, what be of the right insecurities of an individual? What a mouthful! Allow me to revisit the other two examples briefly.

Right (correct assessment) of societal ties to insecurity: The most ‘birds eye view’ of misalignment and fragmented egos. We are comforted in the disruption around us because we are individually lost. This loss comes from to attaching our ego to symbols around us, rather than within.

Right (correct assessment) of familial ties to insecurity: A tailored form of misalignment and fragmented egos. This can look like generational traumas passed through lineage, caused by societal wounds. As the trauma of fragmented egos is passed through insecurity, the ego of the next carrier becomes increasingly more wounded and difficult to navigate.

Individuals and Insecurity

And so, what is the the correct assessment of individual ties to insecurity? I shall tell you with a tone of caution! The misalignment between your actions, your thoughts, and your words becomes you. Your ego is no longer there, or rather, it is, but it is no longer solely yours. The thought alone makes this writer uncomfortable, but it is the act of writing these words that makes my conscious go silent. “Why is this form of insecurity so dangerous?” I ask myself. But I don’t know why just yet.

Perhaps it is like I have written before. Humans are a hypocritical, contradictory and paradoxical. There is something in this which I find beautiful. Is it the endless possibilities evident in the paradoxes? The choices we are met with when we try to counter hypocrisy? In our hypocritical, contradictory selves, we are still given the gift of choice. But, what does this tie to insecurity do to our choice?

Perhaps the choice will vanish from in front of us. The pathway, be it a yellow brick road or maybe green. Perhaps purple? It no longer exists! This is because the road has been walked for us. No. Not only has this road been walked for us, but it has been destroyed. By past souls, predecessors, and current neighbors in society. Me and you. The misalignment between actions, thoughts, and words, funnels to create one, linear pathway (a paradox in itself!)that our soul is now demanded to walk. I don’t know what to call this pathway. Death and demise? Soulless-ness? Or is it simply the death of our ego?

Is Death of a Mystical Entity A Necessity?

The death of our ego…I believe this is most fitting. But it is not as you envision it. I wrote in the beginning of this writing the grave importance of this mystical entity we call ego. Do you remember?

It is there to protect us. From what, you ask? From who? This mystic does not know. I…genuinely do not know. But perhaps I am supposed to take a guess. Our ego protects us from becoming nothing? “But how can that be!” You wary. I…I do not know. So I will continue through the pathway of a mystic and reveal to society, to you and to myself, what the answer might be.

The Paradox which Rears it’s Face Again!

There is always a sacrifice made. The loss of your ego gifts you something, something that can only be just as grand as it’s sacrifice. To loose what protects you from becoming nothing… doesn’t it mean you gain what endangered you to become everything? The death of your ego equates to the birth of humility?

If there is, in any way, fear in your hearts from my tone of writing, please ease yourself. I shall now tell you good news! That fear is your ego. It is alive, beating, and strong. The bad news? Your ego is alive, beating, and strong.

So? What’s right (correct assessment) in being insecure? You gain a soul skill that can only be gained through the death of ego. Humility.

We asked this question to answer it’s inverse. What’s wrong (incorrect assessment) with being confident? I shall tell you (with the thought that this writing is intriguing and could be made into a multiple part series!).

The wrong of confidence is a solid ego that prevents your soul from actualizing humility. Humility is the unmistakeable reward for the loss of a mystical entity. I wish to address this original question much further, now that its inverse has met a conclusion.

Ego which is destroyed is not sanctioned to never return. And so, confidence that is broken or misaligned can come back to you. But not in the way you might think.

“Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.” – Albert Einstein

When it returns, it will look and feel different to what it was before. Your ego and confidence has now become humility and soul! The mystical entity that once protected your soul valiantly and with a “head strong” focus has become an unmistakeable abstract. It flickers in and out of focus, every now and then. It is soft but hard in its softness. If confidence (ego) was only found in what you love, then humility (soul) will be found in what you hate. It can see and is weak. In it’s detail oriented care, we achieve our goals in slow motion, with less success but more definitive progress. There is something it wishes to show us, in the doors which are closed and with the success we have yet to find. There are lessons waiting to be learnt, perhaps?

As this writer has defined confidence in her own terms, allow her to continue the tradition! Humility is acceptance of feeble misalignment between your actions, your thoughts, and your words. For some reason, this soul skill is of great necessity to learn. Perhaps that is why I felt the urge to write of it?

The paradox has been rebirth. It is, in itself, contradictory. But if your ego has remained intact, without strive, it not have reached this level. Society that crumbles, family structures that decompose, and individuals left to experience the death of ego find something invaluable, irreplaceable, and irrevocable.

This mystic of a 19 year old cannot tell you what it is. With the confidence that I believe you will look within yourself and see the complex answer unravel into simple truths.

Thank you for reading, love

– Ire A.